One perfect soul, one perfect love
by Ciella16
Summary: (Hey! This is my second story, I hope you like it! Enjoy the reading XD Because I do it every time I read it) Cesire Dimford lose everything, her home and her parents. Men from Funtom company take her away from poor house and take her to her Phantomhive manor. There she meet the handsome butler Sebastian and fall in love with him. How will this end?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

A sixteen year old lady with oceans blue eyes and black, long hair is sitting in a corner in a poor house in London and cry for her self. All clothes, all furniture ang her parents was burnt down to ash by heartless humans. All what could save was some things to remember her parents and makeup but it was not any use now. I wipe away the tears, the parents were dead and there was nothing to do. I look at the clock and rise up.

"It's food time, what kind of rotten food, they share today?"

All the people standing in a queue and waiting for the meal , no one of us like the food but we must eat something. Some push out me from queue and fall.

"Hey, watch out!?"

I try to come back to my place but push me out again.

"Go back of the queue!" they scream to me

I am so angry so throw my bowl and go back to my corner. When I come back to my corner i see many people whisper, something has happened when I was gone. A women come to me with fear in her eyes.

"Two men from Funtom company are here! They are looking for someone, they have something in their coat pocket, but they do not show it!"

The woman goes away with shaking moves and I start to run. That name was familiar to me, somehow. I look at people to get that direction where the men is. I see the most look at the right so I start to run that way. The longer I went to the right, the more people came. I had to start pressing me forward so I could get past. One hand from nowhere grab my hand and i fall to the floor like a sack of flour. He come down to my level and look right in my eyes.

"What is your name, madam?"

"Cesire Dimford, sir, and I am sixteen year old!" I say with brave voice but deep inside I'm afraid.

He rise up and scream to his partner.

"We find her!"

He lifts up into his arms , he gives a signal to his partner to take my things and carry me out of the poorhouse. Out there is a cart and there he carries me. I do not know who these men are or where we are going but I got out of there and I am happy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2  
**

I sitting in a beautiful and clean carriage when i am self dirty and not so beautiful. I hold my bag on my knees and look out, I love the beautiful forest. I hear how the men talk and laugh loud outside but I don't really care. I am out from horrible place and out in freedom.

"Mrs. Dimford, we are almost there!" scream one of the men.

What was he talked about? I pull down the window and ask.

"Where, sir?"

"Sorry, madam, I forgot to tell you. We are travel to Phantomhives manor and if you look out now you can see the manor!"

I did not know if it was the wind in my hair or the sight of the mansion that got the air out of my lungs. I must sit down so I don't fall out, I was so into me. I hear the carriage go on gravel and how it swings. I press myself against the support, so nervous I am. Somebody is open the door but not one of the two men. A hand with white glove on come in carriage. I´m so nervous so I can´t move.

"My lady, don't be afraid, just give your hand!"

I hear that is a male. That voice was kind and soft but same time dangerous. I reach that hand with the white glove and he grab my hand, he help me out from the carriage. I meet a man with black clothes and hair. He smile at me, I must look away and blush. His smile is so sweet. He look at me, up and down

"Your name is Cesire Dimford, right?"

I nods with a smile. He smile back to me with his sweet eyes.

"Good day, my lady! My name is Sebastian Michaelis, I am the butler of the Phantomhives family"

Sebastian give signal to the two men and they drive away. He whistle to someone and a woman come out, probably the maid. He give my bag to her, she bows and go away. He goes around me and I think he control me if I am the right person.

"Eh, Sebastian, what are you doing?

He come again to front of my face and smile to me.

"It will take some time but I think we can do a really lady of you!"

I give a smile to him.

"Thank you, Sebastian!"

He took my hand and we go up for the stairs.

"Now, my lady, it is time for you bath! You must get some new clothes on you!"

I look at my clothes, they was very dirty and smelt bad. I come in to a big hall, I never seen something so big like this. We go up to the second floor and passed some doors. He stops front of a door with golden letters, bathroom. he pushes me into the room and he comes after. I look across the room and I smile, finally I would be clean after many weeks. I look out of the window to get a picture of the garden, I giggles to my self. I hear how Sebastian do ready with my bath and when he put some perfume in the water, I pull into the good air in my lungs. When i turn around I see that Sebastian have take off his jacket and apron on, I gasp.

"He'll surely not wash me or?" I think for my self when Sebastian come closer to me.

"And now it is time to take your dirty clothes off, my lady, can I?"

I look into his eyes, he means that what he was saying. I hold tight on my shirt, I do not want a strange man to undress me.

"I can handle myself, Sebastian!" I say with same time I blush.

He shakes with his head when he see me blush, I feel like fool. It was my first time I screwed up this much.

"Don´t be afraid, Cesire, that is his work!" I try to say to my self with brave mind.

I see that Sebastian is waiting for my answer.

"Oh right, take my clothes off!" I almost scream to him.

"I see you have hot temper, I like it." He said to me with smile and I get warm inside.

I stand front of he and swallow again and again, I had never show my naked body for a man. He start to unbutton my almost broken shirt and and he takes it from me. After that he take of my dirty skirt and he takes it from me, I felt my heart started beating and the pulse grew. I stood in just in in panties and a thin blouse in front of him and quite soon, I would be completely naked.

"Sebastian Michaelis, where are you? I need your help, now!"

I hear he sighs very heavy and mumbles something about brat or something. He puts his hand in to my hand and he give me a smile.

"I must go now, my lady, but I will come back when you're finished!"

He change his clothes fast like a wind, I barely had time to blink. He gave me a last smile with his sweet eyes and he goes. I run to the door and lock it from inside and sighs out, I was so nervous I could barely breathe. I take rest of my clothes off and go to warm bath.

I was happy that he went but at the same time a little disappointed, I wanted to show my naked body to him. I wash myself slowly as it would be he who washes me and when I come to my breast I get a naughty mind. I massaging them slow and soft, I moan a little. I slap myself and put head in my arms.

"Why are I doing this?" I say disappointed

Had I found what people often talk about, love. I hardly knew this man but some how still I have feelings for him. I get up from the bath and go to the mirror, I must check if i was completely clean. I look at my body and smile happy.

"Oh my god what I look sexy!"

I turn around to my back and I see that I am still dirty there. I'm trying to find a back brush, but I find not.

"How the hell should I wash my back now then?"

At the seconds I hear knock on the door, I turn my eyes there.

"Yes, who is it?"

"It is Sebastian, I forgot to give you the back brush but now I am here so can I do it for you?"

I feel how my body heats up and my pulse grew. I'm trying to find a towel, but it was also not there. I go there with trembling steps. I put my hand over my breasts and try to hide my female side. I open the door shaking hands, I meet Sebastian's sweet smile and eyes, I blush.

"O my, now I can see you are very pretty lady!"

Did he just say I am pretty? I hear how my heart beat and pulse grew more, I have no words say to him. I turn around so I show my back to him and I sit down on the edge of the bathtub. I take gone my hair so he can wash my back, I caress my hair. I hear how he change his clothes and put on the apron, I want to meet his smile but if I do that I blush.

"Can you bow a little, my lady?"

I nods to him and bow a little like he said. I feel how he message my back, it feel so great. When he was finished he washed me and gave me a bathrobe. I noticed that it was quite short but I put it on me. It was high above the knees and if I bent, I would show my butt.

"Sorry, my lady, but it was the only one we had!"

He give a towel to my hair but how in hell should I do now? If I bow down I show my butt. I look at the Sebastian and sighs happy, I must ask him.

"Eh, Sebastian, can you help me with my hair? I would like have a turban, please?"

I look at him with very sweet eyes and he smile to me.

"Of course, my lady!"

He took the towel and do what I wished for, I hug him but he push me away.

"You can´t do that, my lady! I just a simple butler and you are a nobel lady!"

I look down at the floor and get a bad feelings.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3  
**

We walk quietly to my room, he says no and I do not either. I think on the same question, why can he do it and not me? He stay up and I collide with him, I fall backwards.

"Oh no, I will show my female me!"

But like a wind he came behind me on his knees and catch me. I see in to his worried eyes.

"Is everything alright, my lady?"

I swallow and nods with shaky movements. He help me up, I feel a little dizzy. When I up on my own legs the towel falls from my head, I feel the wet hair come to my face and how it drops from hair ends. He take the towel, he tried to not look at my face but I saw that it was difficult for him. When he look at my face so he turn his head away.

"Come on, my lady, is not so far away!"

Did I see right? Became he a little ... red? I try to see his face but he hide it. He stop front of a door, I see Sebastian try to find the key. I read what it says on the door, Cesire Dimford.

"My name?"

"Yes, my lady, it was Ciel, your cousin, who came up with the idea! He wanted you to have this room, it's such a nice view of the garden"

Ciel? The name was familiar to me. He lock up the door and open the door, I go in with fast steps. In there is a big bed with bed canopy, two bookshelves with many books, a big closet and at the window is a sofa where I can look at the garden. The color of the room was dark pink and the floor was white, I liked the colors. I see that is a corset on the bed and a bra on the bed but no dress.

"Where is my dress, Sebastian?"

"I wanted that you choosing your dress, my lady! This way."

He open the door to the closet and I see many beautiful dresses. Which one should I take? My eyes caught on a pink, black dress with a matching flower that could have in your hair.

"That one, Sebastian!"

He bows to me and I go to put on the bra and pantie.

"Yes, my lady!"

I hear him rustling the dress. I look over my shoulder, good he is still at the dress. I take off my bathrobe so it falls on the floor and put me on the pantie. When I come to the bra I get trouble to solid it.

"Damn, this was hard get it solid!" I think for myself.

I feel other hands come on my hands, I let my hands fall because I knew that Sebastians hand was instead there.

"Let me fix it, my lady!"

I feel how his hands work and how he take gone the hands. I remove my hands from the bra and I feel that it is good.

"Now it time for that corset, my lady! Put your hands on the wall and bow a little."

I feel nervous for this because I hated the corset, it was always so uncomfortable. He drag it over me and just gets more nervous. I start breathing faster, but I try to hide it from Sebastain

"Slow down your breath, everything will go well, my lady!"

What the hell, how could he know? I do what he say to me, I feel how he put the ribbons on right places. He drag one of them and I pull together my teeth and hands

"Now begins the hell!" I think to myself when Sebastian pulls in the ribbons.

* * *

After a very painful hour the corset was on and the dress. For first time was the corset quite comfortable. I look at me in the mirror and blush, I looked so beautiful. I see Sebastian takes out a pair of shoes for me. My eyes get big of sight.

"High-heeled shoes?! I never had a pair of high-heeled shoes!"

He laugh to me and I giggles a little, be glad for such a small thing was probably strange for Sebastian.

"Now is the time to have such things, my lady!"

I looked at the high-heeled shoes, they are black with a pink ribbon as you can spin around your leg.

"Can you pull up your skirt a little?"

I pull up my skirt to the knees and he put the shoes on me and start to spinning the ribbon around my leg up to knees. I pull down the skirt and stand up, I want to test my new shoes. I walk across the room and back.

"How it feel, my lady? Do it hurt?"

"No, Sebastian, everything is good! Shall we take my hair as next?"

"As you wish, my lady!"

I sit down in front of my dressing table and Sebastian takes out a brush from one of the drawers. He brushes through my hair and braids , flower that was with dress law he on my right side.

"Are you satisfied with your hair, my lady?"

"Yes and thank you, Sebastian!"

I go up from the table and go to the window. I see through the window that Sebastian is about to leave the room.

"Sebastian!"

"What is it, my lady?

Now was the time to ask the question what I have been wonder at.

"Why did you flirted with me when I was naked in the bathroom? Hmm?"

I turn around fast and see Sebastian becomes red in his face, I show my serious face to him.

"I don't know, my lady!"

I pretend to be mad at him.

"Leave!" I almost roars to him.

I sit down at sofa and close my eyes, I hear how he walk slowly from my room. I try to hold my poker face but is not so easy. Suddenly I came upon a thing.

"Wait, Sebastian!"

I open my eyes and I see Sebastian stand at the door, he turn around.

"When is the dinner?"

I show my normal face with smile, I see he gets surprised.

"At six o´clock, my lady!"

I nods to him with a smile, he go out with fast steps. When Sebastian close the door I must giggles a little, this was my payback to him for the flirty thing and it felt so great. I lay back on the edge of the sofa and look out, I have found my favorite place in my room and it was at the window where I could look out. I hear how somebody is running outside my room, I sit up.

"Hmm?"

Just at the second I hear somebody is knocking on my door, I rise up from the sofa and fix my dress.

"Yes, come in!"

A women open the door and bow to me, when I look closer I see is the same women as I had met. I go to her and take my bag, I smile to her.

"My name is Cesire Dimford and yours?"

"My name is Mey-rin and I am the maid here on this manor! Sorry I did not come earlier with your bag but I had so much to do!"

I shake my head and clap on her shoulder.

"Nothing, good that I got it."

She bow again and go out, I go to my dressing table. I pack up my makeup stuff and put my bag under the table. I sort my makeup, I want it neat and tidy. When I was done with it I got a problem, how should I apply makeup myself beautiful? I have light pink, brow and silver eyeshadow, light red, natural and light pink lipstick, black and brown eyeliner. I sighs and take the light pink to eyeshadow, the black to eyeliner and the light red to lipstick. When I was finished I look at myself

"I look like my...mum."

I feel how the tears is coming but I push them back, I must understand that they are dead.

"No no, I must do something so I take away the bad memories!"

I rise up and go out from my room, now was it was time to check the manor.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4  
**

I go into the long corridor from lots of paintings, doors and ornaments. I just get more fascinated by the mansion. I stop in front of a painting of a beautiful pair.

"Oh, so romantic pair!"

I took step closer to the painting because I saw something written there.

"Vi..n..c..e..nt and Ra...c..h..el Ph..an..tom..hive!"

I took some steps back, I look at the painting again, closer and swallow

"Hmm, we had a same painting at home but that was smaller" I think for myself with concern in my mind.

I continue forward, I had only seen half the manor yet. I walk past the door as I hear voices but I do not care about it, I had learned that you should not listen in on other conversations.

"So, Sebastian, how's it going?"

I stop going, when I heard Sebastian's name my curiosity growing. I go back quiet to the door, I must listen to every piece. I put myself squatting in front of the door and look through the key way. I see Sebastian and a young boy with eyepatch over the right eye, he must be my cousin!

"Very well, my lord! I don't want be rude but was is special with this girl? For me she just a poor girl!"

He threw the cup across the room so it land just next to the door. I look at boy face, he get red and his eyes big.

"She not just a poor girl, you idiot!? Should I brought her to me manor if she was poor? No way, she is very special!"

Sebastian leans against a bookcase, he laughs and smiles at the boy.

"Special? In my eyes she just little toy as I can play with!"

He lick round his mouth and I swallow, I knew exact what he mean. I beg to myself that I'm something special.

"If I said she is half demon and half human, what should you said about that?"

I must put my hand on my mouth so I don't scream, are I a demon? I hear about them and believed in them but I am one them that was a suprise to me. I see that Sebastian smile evil but I notice that the boy don´t see that.

"I would say it sound very interesting, young master! Have she been whole life a demon?"

The boy throws a folder on his desk and Sebastian takes it up. He read it carefully, the boy turns to the window and look out.

"Do you remember the fire case as was last month?"

Sebastian continue to read without taking his eyes on him.

"Was not about a family whose parents died and child survived?"

He look up from the folder and look right in boy smile, he put down the folder on his desk and leaning against the bookcase again.

"Oh, she is the child! Tell me more, young master, I got more interest about the girl!" He turn his whole body to the boy direction.

"I will tell you, Sebastian! It came a man over to the house after fire, that man was demon. He looked around and find the girl, he saw she was afflicted with multiple burns and scratches. He caress her black hair and look to her, she cried. He whispering to her that if she would give half of her soul he would save her, she nods to him with smile, but she did not know that she had sold her body as well. He says sedative words that make her sleepy, meanwhile he does that so he went under her skirt to her thighs and burns a contract under her skin . When she had dropped off so he rapes her. The next day she woke up in the hospital and can not remember anything."

I put my hand around my body and I shake, has I been raped? I feel how my body be weaker for every second but I must listen what the say. I look at Sebastian's body language that he is angry, why was he so angry?

"Now you understand why she is here, or?"

He go on his knees and bow to the boy.

"Yes, my young master, I understand"

What are they talking about? I get up and try to go back to my room but is not easy, the room is spinning round me and I feel that I would throw up. I crashed in something hard and I fall to the floor, the last thing I see is a pair of black, shiny shoes.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5  
**

open my eyes, I see that I am in my room, I feel how my head spin around as a carousel. I hear someone's breath close to me, I look round me and I see the boy at my right side. I see he little mad at me but try hide it, I feel ashamed for what I had done.

"Cesire, how do you feel?"

I sit up and look at him, I notice that he have sweet face.

"Very well, sir!" I tell a white lie, actually felt a little dizzy.

"Dont call me sir, Cesire, for you I am your cousin Ciel!"

Cousin Ciel? Now It came as a flash, he comes from my childhood. We often played together and our parents did business.. I jump on him and hug, I cry on his shoulder. I thought he would push me away but he put his arms around me. I look at his face, he smiles and warm my heart. So here would I sit forever but he takes away his arms and put on the shoulders instead.

"Why was you eavesdropping on our conversation? Hm?"

He smile disappears, it makes sick in my heart by his words. Why did I do that?

"I don't know why, Ciel, but I am very sorry!" I say to him, I hear at my voice that I almost crying.

He stood up and get some hankies to me, I accept them with a smile. He sat down back and look at me.

"Thank you!" I say with low sound to him.

I see at his body language he is about to leave me, I take all courage I have and ask.

"IS every word true what you said in that room? That I am half demon?"

I swallow a little but I so nervous what I get for answers.

"Yes, every word was true. You are a half demon now, you must accept that."

I turn my eyes to the window and think, so everything was true? I sighs and turn my eyes to Ciel, I see at his face he have more to tell me.

"Cesire, I know your afraid what you are now but your still you!"

I start to cry again because I came on a thing in my memory.

"Why are you crying for?"

I rise up from the bed with angry motion and goes to the window.

"He took one dear thing from me, my virginity!"

When I turn around is Ciel there, I see in his eye that he feel sorry for me. I sit at the sofa and he sit next to me, I put my head in my hands and he caress on my back.

"Cesire, I know it is a bad memory but forget that. Think instead that you not have lost it, that you still have it."

I wipe my tears and smiles, he is so right. It's a horrible thing, I know that, but if I do not forget it will follow me all my life.

"I will try to forget it, Ciel! I promise that!"

I hug him again, I am so glad that I have him. I hear a knock on the door and in walks Sebastian. He goes to me and bow in front of me.

"A glas water and pill for you headache, my lady!" He say to me with smile.

I take it with shaking hands and swallow it. Sebastian take of his glow from his left hand and put on my brow.

"Good, no fever!"

I smile to him as thank you, he helped me much when arrived today but I can't still trust him. It was something with this guy, something dark and mystery. It was same thing with Ciel, he was also mystery and dark. I sit up on the bedside and swing my hands to Sebastian, I knew that could faint at any minute.

"Give me a hat, I want out! I feel not so great here inside!"

"Yes, my lady!" He bow to me and goes to get a hat to me.

I stand up and I feel Ciels hand in my hand, I look at him.

"Can you handle your self? Or do you want Sebastian with you?" he say to me worried voice.

I smile to him and hug him, it felt so long time as somebody cared so much about me.

"Yes, I can handle it self! I don't need Sebastian"

"Good, Cesire, I trust you!"

I stand up and turn around me, there stand Sebastian with my hat. When I take the hat in my hands our hands meets, I feel how my body warms up. When I look at his face he flirt again with me, I had so desire to give him a slap. I put my hat on and go whitout to say thank you to him. When I walk from the room I look over my axis, I see Ciel is angry at Sebastian.

"So he do it this often when young girls a close!" I think for myself.

When I outside of room and have closed the door, I put my ear on the door.

"What the hell have talked about that? Control your hunger, Sebastian! If I hear something you have done to her I promise to lock you in, for years!"

I get scared about Ciels word, what does that mean? Had Sebastian sexual problems or? I run away, I want forget his words.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6  
**

I go in among shrubs and flowers, I never see something like this beautifully. I see some white flowers like clocks, I go down on knees and sniff on them.

"It is lily of the valley, small but beautiful! You must the new girl, he?"

I look up and see young boy with short yellow hair, he have half-length, plaid pants with a white shirt and he has a hat that hangs around his neck by a strap. I get up and wipe dirt from my skirt.

"Yes, my name is Cesire Dimford and you are?"

He reach for my hand and we shakes hand, I likes his smile. I never seen so happy boy.

"My name is Finny and I am the gardener on this manor. I like my work, to be out and listen to the birds."

He cuts a flower and give it to me. I put on my hat and give he a cheek kiss.

"Oh, thank you! You are very kind, Finny!"

I see how he blush up and how he try to hide it. I hear someone scream to him and he start to go to sound.

"Excuse me, my lady, but have to go! You know, work to do!"

He run through some bushes and waving to me, I wave back, then he disappeared among the rose bushes. I keep going and look around. I like the garden, I had always one with the nature. I pick up some flower to my room so it smell good of flower in my room. I found some beautiful rocks, two of the was light pink and one is green. I put in my pocket and continues to go.

I start walking back, I felt much better now than earlier in the day. I went through the rose bushes as Finny did, I was curious because I had never gone this route. I would smell the roses but I got a different smell, it smelled something baked. I going to the smell, it just gets stronger the closer I get. I found a door, maybe the staff entrance? I see a man sit on the steps and smoke a cigarett, he look like he come from america.

"hello there!" I say when jump from the bushes.

He get a little scared but he only laugh to me. When get closer to him I see have tousled, blonde hair with chef clothing with big boots. He also has goggles hanging around his neck. I go to him and sit on the ground next to him. I put down my flowers on the ground next to the steps.

"Hi little girl! I see you are a little blighter, he?"

"Yeah, I know!" I say to him with a big smile "By the way I am Cesire Dimford!" I reach out my hand to him.

"My name is Baldroy but called for Bard and I am the chef here on the manor!"

We take hands and shakes. I look behind him and look right in the kitchen, I see the biggest mess ever.

"Uh, what happened there?"

he itch in back of the head and smile big, so it was he who did it!

"Tried to create art but was not so successful. I think the explosion and food belong together but Sebastian does not think that!"

I put my head on the diagonal and smiling worried, he must be resourceful or crazy. I get up on my leg, take gone the dirt from my skirt. I hear how someone comes with fast steps, I see on Bard he get worried.

"Baldroy, what have you done again? The kitchen look like a dump!" I hear the person roar.

I take some steps back because I knew who it was and I go behind the rose bushes, I do not want to be part of any fight. I feel that I have forget something, look round me and hit in my face.

"Damn, I forgot the flowers and the stones next to the steps!" I look there and hope that none of them get under someones shoe.

From the kitchen door I see Sebastian come out and takes in Bards collar. I smile happy, I had always like it when two men fights.

"Hello, Sebastian! How is it?"

I see Sebastian only smiles to him, was he not mad at him for a minute ago? I never seen person as Sebastian, he calm down so fast. He too good to be a human.

"Can you please and go clean up the mess?"

Bard go in and Sebastian just stands there. I puffs out, nothing bad will happend to him. I get up from the bushes and right then I would say hello then I see Sebastian kicks into Bard back so hard that you hear a proper bang, I gasps.

"Get the work done before the dinner!" Sebastian roar to Bard.

I go slowly past Sebastian, go up for the steps and look into the kitchen, I see Bard lay on the floor without to move.

"Are you alive?" I say with shaky voice.

He start to move and show me thumbs up for me, I puffs out again. I didn´t knew how he could survived but maybe is something he do every day. I go down for the steps and of course I collide on Sebastian.

"Oh, my lady, where did you have your eyes?" He smirk to me and I (Of course) blush up.

"E-eh, I was in my thoughts!" I say without see in his eyes.

"Oh, I see." he turn his eyes from the kitchen door and look out over the garden "So, do you like our garden?"

"Yes, I do!" I turn my eyes at same direction as him and smiles "I always been one with nature!"

"Good, so I think this has been your favorite place now?" He turn his eyes at me but I look same directions.

"Yes, I have!" I look down and play with my skirt ribbons "Can you put my flowers in a vase and stones next to it?" I turn my eyes where they are.

"Yes, my lady, I can do it!" He take my flowers and stones. "It is dinner about an hour, my lady! "

I nods to him without to turn around. He goes in to the kitchen and I smile happy, now it time say important words to him.

"Sebastian, wait!" Whole my body turn around to Sebastian's direction.

Sebastian just turn his eyes to me but it was better than nothing. For first I could look in his eyes without to blush.

"Thank you, for everything!" I say it with the wind my hair. Short but good words.

He mumbles something I cant understand, I get irritable at him. I go up for the stairs and stops at the door hole.

"What did you say?! Your lady didnt understand!" I roar to him.

I hated people who did not say right up to me. I feel how my whole body spans and how my angry grow

"I said.." He take short pause "That you are very pretty when the wind blow in your hair and thank you for your words!" He says those words and disappear like wind.

I just stand there and forget to breath, did he really mean what he said? I start to cry without reason, it was not his word who did me up said, it was something else. I runs away to the front side and to the same road as I arrived earlier in the day. I stop at the port between the mansion and the forest. Would I return back to the poorhouse or? I feel tears flowing down but I dry away them and scream to the forest.

"I will never return to that hell place so true my name is Cesire Dimford!"

I smile proud, I had grow up to a really women. That woman what I always wanted to be, as I worked hard to. I see the sun almost down, I must hurry, I had dinner to go to. When I go back I meet on the servants, they were laughing and talking. Where are they headed?

"Hey!" I scream at them, "Where are you going?"

"We are going on midnight picknick!" Mey-rin say to me and show me the basket "Sebastian gave time off this evening"

I get surprise, Sebastian give them time off? This is new side of Sebastian. The past me full laughter.

"Have fun!" I scream to them and go faster, it has become colder after the sun had gone down.

I look back on the manor, one of the window I see Sebatian look right at me and he dont smile. I swallow, did he saw what I did and he thought that I would run away? He goes from the window and I feel on my heart and sighs, it felt like it would jump out of my chest. Was I in love? Or was is just fake feelings? I runs up for the stairs and go in, i feel so good to come in. I go to mirror and check out how I look, my hair look like a birds nest. I reach to the brush but I drop it by mistake.

"Why am I so clumsy?" I sighed annoyed

I bow down and take it and go up again, I gasp. I turn around slowly, I thought Sebastian was behind me. My eyes turns up to the second floor, I see shadow as try to escape. I knew the shadow, I knew the steps, It could be or it must be Sebastian. I continues with to brush my hair but I feel a worry in my in heart. Did he spy on me or did he want something from me? Something only I could give? I only shudder at the thought, put down the brush and look at the clock, it was close for a heart attack when I saw was the time was. I had to hurry up for the stairs, I could not be late because of he. Because of he I must I be in time.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7  
**

I runs into my room and fall on my knees, breath really fast. I dare not lift my head, I can't meet his eyes

"Sorry I am late, Sebastian!" I say same time when I hide my face on the floor "I forgot the time!"

I get no answer, I look up with very shaky body. To my suprise I dont see him and nothing either, the whole room is completely dark. I stand up on my legs and gets little worry because he was not there. I go in with small steps, try to catching sound around me. Behind me the door closes like a shadow have close it, I just stand there I am. I didn't hear something, no steps. I slowly turn around but it was so dark so I didnt see nothing.

"H-hello?" I say with very shaky voice

The light comes on and hurt in my eyes, I was blind for a little time. When I can see again I see Sebastian, get a little scared. He face was so seriously, his pretty smile was gone. I try to look sad that I knew I had done wrong . He just sighs to me and go past me, what had happend that time when was gone? I'm trying to get in contact with him but ignores me. He just put flowers on my table and the stones without look at me, I feel how my anger grow.I look askance at the bookshelf and I smile evilly, I got an idea. I go there with careful steps, I watch all the time on Sebastian if he would turn. I take a book from the book shelf and think, what is so good idea after all? I close my eyes and feel the courage growing, I'm taking all the power I have and throws at him. I see how slamming into his back but nothing happens to him, I stand and gape. He stand up straight and turn at my direction, I swallow and try to hide my face.

"What do you want, my lady?" He say without to look at me.

I feel how my brave me swept past me and I start to cry, nobody had be so cold at me before. I lose my hope about my feelings, he was not in love with me! I feel how my heart break in two piece. I hoped so much and now It fall down as stone. I fall on my knees and look at him with wet eyes

"What the hell is wrong with you?! You where so nice to me on afternoon and now on the evening you been cold to me" I scream to him and cry at same time "Why?"

We just stand there and no one us talk, just stand. He stand at table and I middle on the floor. I see in his eyes that he is sorry but he can't say he's sorry. I sighs heavily and turn my eyes away from he, I can't see in his cold soul. I had learn me something new, some people is cold as Sebastian. He start to move and go past me, he took a quick look at me and gave a little smile. I look over my axis and see how search after that dress, what is with him? First mad and then happy, he can't be human because he is too good. I start thinking about one thing, what if he is demon? I heard that they are better than other people. I laugh at the idea but I can not completely remove it.

"You have dinner to go to, my lady! The evening dress is a black and blue dress with blue rosette!" He say to me with a smile.

I stand up on my legs and look at he.

"Yes you have right, I have dinner go to!" I say with natural voice but deep inside me I am sad "What beautiful dress you have choice to me, thank you!"

He nick to me as thanks and give me a little smile again. He shrugs his head that I'll get over there.I go there and turn my back to him, I take away my hair from my back so he can take away my dress. I wait many seconds but nothing happen.

"Sebastian?" I say with soft sound "I have little hurry!"

First then it happen something but then he do it slowly, very slowly. He drag gone ribbons from the dress and it fall off me . Now I stood just in panties, corset and bra in front of he, that scared me a little. Then I feel how he put one of his hand on my hips, I feel a worry in my heart. I feel his hand slides up from the hips to my back. I knew this situation, I get scared.

"Sebastian, no!" I say same time I go from him.

"You had something on your back and hip so I took away it!" he says without blushing or looking away.

"Bullshit" I think for myself. "By the way what was it wrong with he? He just touch me for some seconds and now he is normal. This guy is weird"

I think back to his and Ciels discussion in my room, I get lump in the throat. Think if he can't hold is hunger and it goes over me and rape me? I shudder at the thought and do not dare to go Sebastian for a while but the thought disappears as dust but still standing in my memory. I go back to him and he pull over the dress on me. He corrects me the dress, he smile proud.

"My master will be so happy! Did you remember he would talk about the life and rules here? It is very important that you listen! " he say with stern voice "Oh my, I forgot you rosette as you should have your hair!"

My curious growed to max, what was it about this dinner was so important? He go past me and I start to bite on my nails, what should I do now so I get my informaition? I turn my head to his directions and get evil idea, he was a little weak for me.

"Sit down, Sebastian! I must ask you something!" I say with a stern voice.

He sit at the bedside and look at me with kind eyes, now it was my turn to move. I bow down and put my hands on his hips, purposely I do that my boobs visible.

"What it is about this dinner? Please tell me, just a little bit" I say with sweet voice

I see he start to staring on my boobs and get a little nervous, I turn away my head and smile evil

"Oh poor he, he try to be the best gentleman!" I think with an evil mind.

I loved to give him payback, he had been so pervert and cold to me this evening. Now what is my turn to be like him.

"I-i can't, my lady, I promised he not to tell!" He say with little shaky voice "Let me put on the rosette in your hair"

He do it wiht shaky hands, I sighs. I stand right up and turn around, I sighs again but this time angry. He know my moves and he can dodge my moves. I see he go to me and holds out his hand to me, I turn my head automatic to clock and sighs nervously.

"Shall we go, my lady?"

I take is his hand and he press hard on my hand, I try to take away my hand but he still hold my hand. I look at his face and I see the most serious face ever, I look straight and feel how I get worried. I had such horrible feeling about this dinner, something will change my life forever.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8  
**

When walked down for the steps, through a long corridor and stops in front of a door I had a dark thought, think if he kick me out because I'm a demon? Sebastian fix my dress and rosettte for a last time, I try hold back the tears but was no easy. I feel a tear slides down at my cheek, Sebastian smile and wipe away it.

"He will not kick out, my lady, because you are demon! He loves you more than you think! Excuse me but I had go! The dining room is the other side!"

He go and I just stand there, my legs wiln not move, how could he know what I'm thinking? I take a big breath in and out and goes in, I see Ciel is already there. I sit next to him and strange thing is that he says nothing, he totally quiet, he just drink his wine with small sips. I see he try to say something with his eyes, I follow them to the clock. In deepest fear I saw I was ten minutes late, I swallow.

"Sorry, Ciel, that I am late!" I say with low sound.

He put down the glass and caress my hand.

"It nothing, Cesire, but next time come in time!"

I nods as I understand what he mean. He pour some wine to my glass but I push it away it.

"No thank you, I don't drink wine! I say because I never had drink wine before.

"Taste for me, please?" He said with at the same time he take up my wine glass.

Take the glass but I don't really want that. I take a sip and a new world have open.

"This was good wine, thank you, Ciel" I say with smile.

I hear a bell ring, I see Ciel put his napkin on his kness . I do it same thing, I was hungry as hell. Sebastian come in on the other side of the room, I see carriage full of food. He put all the food on table, I just get more hungry when I see the food. I would just take the food then Ciel hit on my hand, I drag back my hand.

"It hurts, Ciel! Why did you do that?"

"Your first lesson, always listen your butler what kind of food he have cook to the evening!"

I nods to him as I understand but just now I want shit in that and take that good food. I sighs and leaning the back on the chair.

"Evenings dinner is Phantomhives meat sauce with potato and a sallad with iceberg lettuce, mango and cucumber! As dessert it is carrot cake with ice cream or sugar and green tea mille feuille!"

He bows to us. He go past Ciel and Ciel takes into his jacket and pulls him closer. Ciel whisper something to him and Sebastian nods, I only hear was "Yes my lord!". Sebastian start to move but not in the usual way, he moves like a shadow on the walls. I hear how the doors locks one after one but I not see him. I just hear echoing around me and it scares me but Ciel is totally cool and take a few sips of wine. I see first Sebastian at the last door, where he came in, he looks at me and locks the door.

"What the fuck was that, Ciel? He moved like a demon!" I scream to him same time I rise up.

"Think at your words, young lady! A good lady don't say bad words!"

He look at me and I see he try to say to me, with his eyes, that I should sit down. I sit down and take food but does not go down. After I saw what Sebastian did I have a dark thought about this manor, Ciel and he.

"Cesire, now I want you to listen carefully on me! What I'll tell you is very important!"

I look up and see he take off his eye patch, on his other eye he a have star instead for real eye. I don't get scared or surprised because I know what this is. I sighs deep and push away the food, my appetite went away.

"I see that you know what this is and yes, I have a contract with Sebastian, a faustian contract!"

It hurt more because it was he, the handsome, good-looking butler who I thought was a man, but during the day I realized he was more than a man, that must be a demon like me. What made the most hurt was that I was deep in love with him but I see now that there will never be anything between us.

"As you know Sebastian is a demon as you but more dangerous than you think. His hunger is nothing to play with, when he is hungry nothing can stop him to take that he wants. I think you know what I mean."

I nods that I understand but I wanted to give Ciel a slap and yell at him that Sebastian is not dangerous because then I'm dangerous too but I'm sitting absolutely quiet.

"I better be careful then." I mumbling to him

"You must never tell this to anyone, never and I hope you feel safe here, if not I'll arrange it. Sebastian will become your teacher, to learn you all that you need know to be a real lady. Now you know everything you need to know, I hope you understand"

I shake my head, I don't wanted to understand. Why must my life change because after my parents deaths? I want my normal life again, when I lived in London with my parents and have a happy life. I get so angry so throw my plate, glass, everything on the wall. I feel how the tears slides down at my cheek, I was so angry. I look at Ciel but he had not moved, he just look at me with his both eyes.

"Cesire, what is wrong?" he said with a little roar.

I take the wine bottle and throw it on his parents painting, I see it gets little broken but I don't care. I look again at Ciel but still he not had been moving, I see he gets more mad at me.

"I say again, what is wrong?" He say with more roar.

"I-I dont want to live here, I-I don't want to live with killers!" I say with shaky voice.

Ciel just laugh to me, it irritates me. He put on his eyepatch again and take more food.

"Killers? We don't kill people, never!"

My breaths are fast and I barely stay on my legs but I had hard choice now, to trust or not trust? I sighs heavily and I did my choice, I must trust Ciel because he is my dear cousin and I know he do no harm to me. But the other one I could not trust because he was demon and as Ciel said he was dangerous, I must belive him.

"Ciel?" I whisper to him

"What is it, Cesire? Why are you whisper?"

"Is it okay if i take some fresh air? I can take dessert on room instead." I whisper again

He nods to me, I see he understand me. I raise up from my chair and go to the door where I came in.

"Sebastian, open the doors!" I hear Ciel scream.

Like shadow all the door open at the same time, it still scared me. At the same time when I would open the door it open for me and on the other side I see Sebastian. I turn away my eyes, I was too heavy to look at him. I look down at the floor and go past him. I start to hurt in my heart so I runs to the front door with my tears in my eyes, I heard him scream to me.

"Cesire? Is everything okay?"

"No, everything was not okay" I thinks with sad mind


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9  
**

I am sitting in the garden under the moon and picking off the flower petals

"Love, not love, love, not love..." I whisper to myself

So many dreams had broken this evening about this new life, I sighs. The last flower petals fall off and lands on the ground, I get a little smile on my face.

"Love? Are you sure on that, flower?"

I feel the wind my hair, I throw the flower in the wind. I look at the manor, it look big in the darkness than in reality. I try to find his face but nowhere, just shadows. I rise up and look around me, This place was familiar to me. I want see something new. I turn my eyes at the darkest place in the night, the forest. I go in same direction as the forest is, a new courage grew within me. I had always been afraid of the darkness. I remeber when I was a little girl when I saw the darkness I started scream if I was alone but they days was over now. I go past the place there I found the stones and goes deeper in manor big garden. When I come closer to the forest I see there is a fence, it was very big. I never see it before, I start to wonder.

"Hmm, why here? And nowhere else?" I say to myself

This part of the garden there were only a few bushes and tall, beautiful trees.

"Here, it would fit perfectly with a swing!" I think when I go among the trees.

I go past the big trees and see something unusual, a small hole in the fence. I look closer at the hole, someone has removed the nails and kicked off the plank. I look to next the plank and I see their someone had started to gone the nails but not all. I try with my bare hands but it hurts too much, it start to bleed. I tear gone some strips from dress, I sighs because I know what will happen if Sebastian see this.

"Sorry but necessity have no law!" I whisper in the dark.

I start to find some thing strong to take gone nails. I search in the grass, in the tress and in the bushes but nothing. I sit down at the a stone and swear for myself.

"Fuck this life, fuck this place and fuck everything and nothing!"

I get so irritated on everything so I want to kick some thing. I look round but I don't see something and made me more irritated, so I start to kick in the grass. I kick my toes in something very hard, I start to swear again.

"Fuck this hurts, like hell! What the fuck was that?"

I go down at the my knees and drag away the grass a little. When have drag away a most the grass so I see a shank, I drag in it a little. I get so surprised of sight so i fall on my ass, in front of my eyes there was hammer as I had found in the grass. I breathe fast and just stares on thing I had found, it was scary somehow

"W-what the fuck? H-how can this possible?"

I stand up shaky legs and I lean with my back on the tree, I feel that I must calm down for some minutes. I take a little peek at the hammer and laugh at my thought, I was very stupid idea but I must do it. I goes to the hammer with fast steps and take up it. I removes the nails and kick out the plank. My breaths fast and I sweat. I try to go through the hole but it was still too small, I sighs.

"This is very heavy work but I will not stop!"

I continue with my work, remove the nails and kick off the plank. I try again to through the hole and this time it fits perfect, I smile proud. First step in my big plan was ready and my big plan was toaccommodate from the manor, this place was too much from me. Too many secrets, rules and feelings, my heart had found my true love but had broken in the same way, I think.

"Why does this feel so good and so bad in same time?" I say with a sigh

I look on the other side the fence and I see something so beautifully, I see how the moon light goes through the trees big leaves and brightened up the lilies of the valley. I had never seen something so beautiful, I cry a little because off my sight. I go through the hole and hide the planks under the bushes, I take no risks. I go back and hide the nails and the hammer in a old tree with many holes. I look around me and nods happy.

"Now can't anyone follow or search for me, I hope!"

I look at the manor and my happiness disappear, had I the real courage to leave after all I had gotten from this place? I shake my head and look at the moon.

"I must understand I don't belong to world with demons and secrets, I'm not one of them!" I say to myself "I belong to them who knows the truth and know who they real are!"

I turn around me to the manor because I think I heard something. I close my eyes and concentrate all sound around me, I listen the wind. It was hard to catch the sound

"Someone is coming with fast steps!" I whisper at same time open my eyes

I running back to the manor and I feel on me that I had been away too long, they search after me. They maybe think I had accommodate from them and that I would tell to the world about their secrets . I run past the trees and bushes, I look over my shoulder. I saw still the fence and the hole, I smiled. I collide with something hard so I fall back and hit my head in a stone. Last thing I see is a face with red eyes and then I pass out.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10  
**

I wake up by someone is caress my hair and speak to me with low sound. I open my eyes slowly and carefully. I feel with my body that I lay on the stairs and my head is someones knees. I turn my eyes to right and meet Sebastian eyes but this time it was not red, this time his eyes glowed. I rise up with fast moves and look at his hands. I found the star, it was exactly the same as it was on Ciel's eye. Turn my back to him.

"Stop, Sebastian! I don't want to see, I don't want know!" I scream to him without see at him.

I feel his arms goes around me and kissing my cheek. I just stare on his arms and on his beautiful hands. It felt like the time had stopped for some minutes.

"Sorry, my lady! I just wanted to show how I really am!" He whispers in my ear "That I'm just like you, a demon!"

My body shakes, but not for I'm afraid for him. I think because his arm is around me and I hear his voice so close. I lean with my back on his chest and feel how he breath, his short and calm breath. Just like this I want to stay forever, in his arms forever. But deep inside I knew he was dangerous to me because he was demon. He could easily break my heart and leave me to die without to miss me. I shed a tear after all my thought, could it be so easy? To broke someone's heart? His arms goes away and his voice disappear just like the wind. My legs and knees a weak so I let my body fall.

"Help me, Sebastian!" I whisper right out.

Two strong arms lift me from the ground and I meet Sebastians eyes. I see at his face he have some to ask me.

"Do you try to accommodate from here, my lady?" He say with low sound.

I get little scared and confused, how could he know? He look at me so serious so it feels that he pressing me out the answer. I sigh and I pretend that I'm telling the truth and give him a hug.

"Why should I?"

It hurt in my heart to lie to him but I can't tell him. If I tell him then he will only try to stop me and tell me reasons why I should not do that. He sighs and he ask again.

"If not why are hand dirty and injured? Hmm?"

"I tripped on a rock and then I scraped my hands on the ground. Thing that is around my hand bandage," I say in a lie

I see at him he didn't really believed me first but then he change his mind, lucky for me.

"Good to hear! Ciel was a little worried because you ran away from the dinner!"

The dinner, I remember it very well. It was there my new life start to feel like prison. I lean back on his arm and he walks slowly up for the stairs

"Let's go in, it is cold out here!" he say to me

"Yes, it's cold out here!"I answer to him

He open the door and I feel the heat. First now I feel how cold I was, I shiver a little. Sebastian laugh to me and drag me closer to him.

"Let us hope you not get a cold. Next time you go out take a jacket on you"

I put my head on his chest and listen to his heart. I feel how he goes up to the second floor.

"I feel so sleepy" I mumbles almost in sleep

"We soon at your room, Cesire!" he say and fast up his steps

I yawn many times and Sebastian smiles to me everytime. He stops and look up a bit. We was in front of my door and he put me down. My legs feel like spaghetti and it feel like it will give up any minute now. He open the for me and I goes in but he stops me, I look up at him.

"What?" I say irritable

"What do you say if someone is open the door?" He say just like teacher

"Thank you!" I mumbles

He take gone the arm and bows to me. I mumbles me in to my room, this one of my reason why I'm leaving. I must learn everything what a lady need to know but no one asked me if I want that. My family was not rich or poor but we had not same class as the Phantomhives. We was just like normal families,we worked our food and money. My dad had a little shop with flowers and other stuff. He did sometime small business with Phantomhive but not often. Phantomhive bought flower to his garden, always 100 flower. When they did business was I with Ciel and played with my easy toys. I sighs for my past and I had did on promise to myself, to forget the past. It was too painful about my parents dead and one had stolen my virginity.

"What are you think about, my Lady?" he say right in my ear.

It felt just like he had drag away me from the past and back to now. I shake my head and sit down at the bedside.

"Nothing! Take off my shoes, Sebastian!" I say like a order.

I see at his face that he didn't really like when I said like it a orders. He goes on his knees and take gone ribbons. When he take gone the shoes it feel like heaven. I was not used to have high-heeled shoes yet but perhaps never I will be that. Sebastian put the high-heeled shoes in the wardrobe and take nightdress to me. This nightdress was short and thin but saw comfortable out.

"Can you please turn around, my lady? I must tie up your rosette"

I turn around and he take gone the first part of my dress, i sighs in happiness. This dress was heavy with the first part. I feel a hard hand who hold on my axis and that hand turn me around. I meet Sebastians angry eyes, I look down because I didn't want see them. When I look at my dress it miss a little part, that part I not wanted show him. I shame so much, right in my heart.

"What have done with the dress? Are you completely insane?" He roar to me without take gone our eyes contact.

I swallow and I start to shake. I had never see him so angry. I think I had release his demon anger because the room is more darker than for some minutes ago.

"Do you know what happen if Ciel see this? This was his mother favorite dress!"

"S-sorry! I didn't know it was his mother's" I shaky says with a try to get away from his eyes "you should had say it to me!"

He throw me on the bed and get over me. He grab my arms and push down on the bed so I can't moves. I try to kick of him but sits on my hips so I can't move. He lick around his mouth and comes closer to my face.I try with my all power to get off him but he hold me to tight. He sniffs on my neck and I cry because i afraid This was new side of Sebastian and this side scares me.

"S-sebastian, it hurts! Can you please stop?" I say with my tears as flows down at my cheek "I don't want you rape me, please!"

He release my arms, but he still is angry. He goes some steps back. I still sit on bed shakes, it was close to I had been raped. One think I wonder on, why did he get so mad at me just for a dress? This must be very special dress for Sebastian and of course Ciel too.

"Get up, my lady! It is bed time for you!" He roar to me and drag me up from the bed.

I can't say or do something, whole my body had shot down. I feel like a puppet and he drags in threads like a puppet master. He drag off me the dress and the corset so I just stood in bra and panties. He throw the nightdress to me and he take off me the bra without my permission. I put the nightdress fast over me so he don't take peek on my half naked body, he didn't deserve it.

"What is wrong with you? You act like.." I stop with last word, I can't finish it.

He don't answer to me, he just pick up the dress and the corset. I goes down at knees and hide my face on the bed. This time it was real anger, before the dinner was not real but now real mad at me, just like demon.

"Good night!" He say without to say my lady or Cesire.

He goes past me just like a wind and I cry a lot in same place. He was so mean and so different now. He been so nice to me and had flirts to me on afternoon. Yes I hated a little but same time loved a little. I look up I see he has stopped at the door. My cheek is red and my hair is sticky with all tears but I don't care, he is the reason why.

"Stand up! I must talk to you but when I do it I want see your eyes!"

I stand up but my leg shakes so it hard to stand right up. I let my arms hangs when I up, I can't lift them up.

"Come to the middle of the floor! I said: I want see your see your eyes !"

I sighs and try to walk but my legs don't want to obey me. It feels so painful to walk to him because this is all is his fault. When I come to the middle of the floor I fall and lands on my knees. I look up and meet his eyes.

"Please, Sebastian, please! Why are you so mean?" I say over and over again. "I want back the nice Sebastian as was on the afternoon, not the mean Sebastian!"

I creep closer to him but push away me with his foot. He goes on his knees and take my chin and with his other hand he caressed my cheek. He look at me but he don't smiles.

"So you want that? Then I have bad news, he's not here!" he say to me and push me down me on the floor, he holds my arms again "If I was the master here I would give you punishment! A punishment you never forget!"

He stand right up and fix his clothes but I am still on the floor and shakes of his last word "A punishment you never forget!" As a echoing through my head. He goes out through the door and holds on the doors. What is it now? Can he not just leave me?

"I will lock your in tonight so you learn not to destroy others things! You are just a little brat as believe you can do everything you want but that kind of brat you must teach in the hard way!" he say with higher voice and show me the key, he smiles evil.

I look up and I see he mean it what he said. I swallow and try to stand up but my legs want not obey me

"No, please, no!" I say with same time stand right and run to him.

Just when I get to the door he close and lock it. I beat on thr door and my tears flows on my cheek. This was a nightmare I want to wake up from this but I know I can't. I beat so much on the door that my hand start to bleed again.

"OPEN THE DOOR! YOU CAN'T LOCK ME IN! SEBASTIAN!" I scream and beat hard on the door so my blood from my hands drips down.

I hear his steps be lower and lower, and then it's completly quiet. I cry at the door and listen to the blood as drips slowly to floor. What the hell is it wrong with this man? Out there he had his arms around me and he carries me in to my room. All this happend when he saw my dress but he saw first after when he took off the first part off the dress, how can that be possible? I goes to my bed and lay down.

"I must out off here, tonight! This place just gets more weirder!" I say over and over again.

I look at my hands, they bleed a lot but I don't care. I go to the window and look at the forest. Just there at fence was my new future but how the hell will i get there? I can't take the usual way because there is Sebastian as guards at the door. The only way out here was through the window and now I had just problem, I need rope or something to get down.

"Damn, my hands hurts to much so I can't think!" I roar out

I gets so angry because of my hands so I remove all the pillows and duvet so just sheets are left. Then I smiles because I get idea and I take the sheet. I tear strips of sheet and tie together. I put it at the window so I finde it then, now I had the rope. I turn my eyes at the pillows and duvet, they was covered with blood, I sighs vicious. Sebastian will have hard day tomorrow to get away the blood. I take my old bag as I had with me from the poorhouse.

"I must pack my things and some clothes!" I count up so I remeber.

I do it but I do it fast because I feel worry in my heart. Sebastian have many tricks in his pocket and it was no nice tricks. Think if he knew about this and planned to kill when I on the ground? I shudder away the thought it was too horrible to think. I put my bag next to the rope so it was it same place.

"Damn what I am stupid!" I hit my head in my hand "I can't goes out with my nightdress!"

I go again to the the wardrobe and start to search for some pants and shirt would be perfect but would be hard to find in a ladies wardrobe. I search and to my surprise I found my old skirt and shirt from the poorhouse, Sebastian must hiding it here so I not would found it. It was behind a box with jewelry. I jump in my bed and smiles, it was long ago I was so happy like this.

"Good, now I have everything, I think!" I say with a laugh.

I sit right up because I hear something. I hear someone is coming and rustling sound of the keys, it is Sebastian and I'm in trouble if I do not hide my traces. I fumbles me up from the bed and and put my bag and clothes under the bed. I sort up my pillows and take up the duvet on the bed. I've just come under the duvet when I hear a key that unlocks the door and the door opens. I try to pretend to sleep but I'm too nervous. He goes in the room and sighs.

"Her hands bleed over the pillows and the duvet"

He goes out from the room again and I sighs in happiness. I close my eyes and fell how soft this bed is. Now I feel real tired I am and deep inside of me I know I need nap.

I do it comfortable for me and yawn. I feel how close I'm to the sleep.

"How in the hell should I wake up now!" I mumbles into my sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11  
**

_Wake up...Wake up... Please, wake up Cesire!_

I wake up with a jerk and feel my heart beats hard to my chest. My hair is sticky and I sweat. I had dreamed a nightmare, a terrible one. I was hunted by wolves in the garden. Ciel saw me but he turned his back to me and walked away from me. Deeper in the garden i saw Finny, Brad and Mey-rin but they shakes they head.

"We can't, we are sorry!" They say same time.

I runs deep in the garden but everything change when I with fence, instead for a fence there is a wall and it says "The end". I press my back on the wall and see the wolves come closer. I look up and I see Sebastian stands on the wall. I smiles in happiness and reach out my hand to him.

"Thank you to help me , Sebastian, no one will help me!"

But he just stand there and watch me. He close his eyes and look away, it hurts in my heart. I cry in despair and I try to scream to him but it comes no word from my mouth. I see Sebastian has turned his back to me and goes away. I beating on the wall and then he stopped. He turn head and our eyes meet. I saw that he were unsure, and it scared me. The wolves just come closer to the wall.

"Sorry, my lady, but you don't deserves to be saved!" He whisper to me and then he completely gone.

Last thing I remember that one of the wolves jumped on me and it was there I waked up. It was something else with dream, a whispering voice in the background. That voice sounds just like my mother. Take away the duvet and sits on bedside. It was very hot in here and I sweat a little. I drag back my sticky hair back and rise up to open the window, it was hot in here. I open the window and feel cold air comes in to the room. It was calmly night with some sounds in forest.

"Oh good what I'm thirsty, I must get some water!" I say with I put my hand on my throat.

I goes to the door and yanks at the handle but the door was closed. I thought he was kidding with me but he really meant it.

"Damn with that demon! Ciel forget one thing to say to me that he is evil !" I roar quiet.

I goes to my bed and take out the things as is under my bed. I change my clothes and throw the nightdress back in to the wardrobe. I tie the rope with a triple knot so it will be held. I throw out the rope and check last time if everything is ready. I go past the mirror and sighs heavy.

"I have changes a lot today! A girl from the poorhouse to a lady from the Phantomhives family" I say with little fear in my heart "Why did this happen? After the Ciel told me that I'm a half demon just that minute I growed up because I felt that in my heart. Why must everything goes so fast?"

I slides down at the wall and cry some tears. I look at the flower as I had picked today in the garden and a smiles comes to my face. I stand up and take my bag. I had not time to cry and I was too old for that. I climb up at the sofa and sits at the windowsill. I look down and took some big breath deep. I take the rope in my hand and start to climb down. I tried to think at my steps but all my thought go to Sebastian, I don't why. I slips on slippery place and I holding tight on the rope. I breath become fast and out of control. I swallow and I look up. I see something I don't want to see, notch in the rope. I look down and sighs, it was far to the ground.

"Damn, why must this happen?" I say shaky "I must take small steps down!"

I start to climb down slowly, very slowly, my life hanged on that. I don't took away my eyes from the rope or my thought from Sebastian. I saw the hole grower just bigger and bigger. I stop and feel my heart beta so hard to my chest. I hard choice now, scream for help or jump? I look down and close my eyes, it was long way down. If I jump I lost my life and lost my love to Sebastian.

"How can I love him after all have he done to me?" I whisper to the wall "Is that meaning with love that you can forgiveness that one you love?"

I feel the tears burning to my cheek and I beg silences that I do right thing. I was nervous and scared, all my feelings mixed together. I look down and sighs.

"It's the only way down but" I say sad and close my eyes.

I release my hand from the rope and let my body fall. My hair follow the wind also my tears, I was scared and happy same time.

"Sorry, my love, I hope you can forgive me for this!" I whisper to the dark "My feelings hurt to my weak soul because I know can't have you"

"My lady, why did you not say how you felt to me?" A voice whisper to me "We don't want so see you kill yourself because of your feelings, that would hurt more to me and Ciel!

I open my eyes and feel how the fear grow in my body. First now I could understand on thing: He would not allow me die before I gave him that he wanted , my body and my soul.


End file.
